


the truth is (I want only you)

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Series: I Want To Burn With You [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alpha Bones, Alpha/Omega, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Sex Toys, basically a stunted love confession that was never supposed to happen, you'll miss it if you blink tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-25 17:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2629397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim injures himself during his heat and ends up revealing a bit more than he'd wanted to when Bones comes to take care of him.</p><p>--</p><p>Jim had a tendency to get wild during his heats. His pain threshold seemed to vanish and he barely even noticed if he ended up with cuts or bruises. He'd always been wild, from the rebelliousness to the need for freedom that kept so many alpha's away, unwanting of a mate that was so reckless and headstrong. He'd come to peace with the fact that he would probably always be too much for people; but he could do nothing about his actions during heat. His limits were pushed, his body was worked to exhaustion. He'd been advised countless times before to have someone supervise, to make sure he didn't do serious harm to himself, but Jim had refused every time. No one was going to watch unless they were his mate. He refused to be vulnerable like that ever again.<br/>Bones knew this, knew why he insisted on going through it by himself, and had agreed to let him do so so long as Jim let him make sure that he was okay every day of the seven days he burned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm burning without you

**Author's Note:**

> I've been enamored with alpha/omega fics and I just really love a bottom!Jim so thus, this was born. I already have a second installment planned so tell me what you think and what you'd like to see?  
> 

Jim was rarely caught off guard by his heat. Being someone who was knowledgable when it came to acts in between the sheets (and sometimes out) he had learned to feel the signs; to know that the burn in his belly and the itch at the base of his spine was a warning that he needed to heed lest he put himself in danger of being unwillingly claimed.

Jim trusted his crew, but he did not trust their alphas. Even those with the strongest of control could be taken over by their instincts when faced with an unclaimed omega in heat. Which is why he found himself squirming in his chair, hair rising as the beginning prickles of heat filtered through his senses, ready to bolt if one of his commanders made any move that seemed suspicious.

It was unlikely that the early stages of his heat would have much effect on anyone. The pheromones his body would begin to emit were not yet at full force, just barely beginning to surface as his body prepared itself for a claiming that would not come. There were those that would be able to sense it though, those whose senses were stronger and sharper.

As if reading his mind, Spock looked up from his station, eyebrow raised ever so slightly as he examined the captain.  Jim shook his head before the Vulcan could say anything, earning a disapproving stare before Spock turned back to his controls.

The next few hours were filled with the slow burn of his stomach and the crawling itch of his spine, the sensations coming in slow waves that got stronger the longer he sat there.

When it was time to escape he practically fled the bridge, the beginning wetness of slick starting to mark his suit. He needed to get back to his quarters, seal the entrance and write up an absence report while he still had his senses; but of course it wasn't that easy.

"Bones?" Jim rasped, sweat marking his brow. "What..." He blinked, shaking his head as the door slipped shut behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Spock called me," Leonard answered, lip curling as if the very thought of it made him sick. "Said you were showin' signs of heat. I looked through my files and sure enough, you were due, which I'm sure I told you about durin' your last examination. I thought for sure you wouldn't be this stupid--not about this--but of course, here you are, practically gone already. You're lucky your idiotic ass wasn't jumped, you hear me?"

Bones' drawl came out when he was angry, Jim had learned this long ago. And he was prone to rants as well, but that didn't prepare the captain for the effect it'd have on him. Jim shuddered, fresh slick sliding down his thighs. A whine caught in his throat and Bones' nostrils flared, veins standing out on his neck with his fight for control.

"I need... I need to check to make sure everything's alright," Bones faltered, taking slow breaths out of his mouth. "Sit down and then I'll leave you to it."

Jim moved obediently, as if on autopilot. He couldn't stop the whimper from rising in his throat when he sat down, reminded suddenly and vividly that he was achingly empty.

The examination was quick as Bones scanned his body, hands hovering agonizingly over his skin but never on it.

"Everything's fine," Bones murmured when Jim thought he was surely going insane, trying so hard not to grind down into the mattress. "I'll keep an eye on you through the scanners."

He made to leave and Jim did move then, reaching out for his friend through the fire. "Bones," he whimpered, pleading and confused.

The doctor paused, watching him warily before something in him softened. He shifted, moving to hold Jim's face in between his hands oh so gently before leaning down to press a kiss to Jim's forehead. He uttered a soft, "Be safe" before he was gone, and Jim was consumed by the fire.

* * *

Jim had a tendency to get wild during his heats. His pain threshold seemed to vanish and he barely even noticed if he ended up with cuts or bruises. He'd always been wild, from the rebelliousness to the need for freedom that kept so many alpha's away, unwanting of a mate that was so reckless and headstrong. He'd come to peace with the fact that he would probably always be too much for people; but he could do nothing about his actions during heat. His limits were pushed, his body was worked to exhaustion. He'd been advised countless times before to have someone supervise, to make sure he didn't do serious harm to himself, but Jim had refused every time. No one was going to watch unless they were his mate. He refused to be vulnerable like that ever again.

Bones knew this, knew why he insisted on going through it by himself, and had agreed to let him do so so long as Jim let him make sure that he was okay every day of the seven days he burned. 

* * *

Leonard was sorting through paperwork when the scanners in Jim's room went wild. Immediately, he was searching for the cause, swearing wildly when he found it before grabbing the emergency bag he kept out during Jim's heats. He stalked through the halls, sending people scattering with a look as he half ran to his captain's quarters, quickly inputting the code only he and Spock knew and sending the doors open with a soft woosh.

The scent of Jim slammed into his senses. It was a musky, beckoning smell, one that made Bones' mouth water despite the dampening hypo he'd injected himself with before entering. It had been the only way he could ensure that he would remain in control and even still he could feel his alpha clawing under the surface. Jim was his friend, his family, and his alpha was well acquainted with his scent. He'd gotten attached to him somewhere between "I may throw up on you" and "Five years in space, god help me".

It didn't help that Jim had no problem rubbing his scent all over his friends; that he liked sauntering around after his sexual exploits, reeking of another alpha and raising Bones' hackles.

Ever since his ex-wife, Leonard had avoided commitment like the plague. The rejection of a mate had left a hole behind, an emptiness in his chest that hadn't started to mend until Jim had forced him back into life and found him not only friends, but a family as well. Jim had been a steady temptation, teasing at his walls and luring his alpha. Leonard might have even thought he'd been doing it on purpose if he didn't exhibit most of the behavior around others as well.

Bones sighed, shaking his head at the mess of the living room, couch cushions strewn out on the floor, reeking of slick. The coffee table was tipped on its side, a plug propped up on a chair and still wet. A soft whimper from the kitchen had Leonard hurrying past the mess, bag clenched tightly in his hands as he moved through the doorway. It took him seconds to take in the scene before he started swearing up a storm, making his way to Jim through the mess.

"Dammit Jim!" He growled, dropping to his knees beside the bleeding male. "This is why you should have someone help you through your heats! Just because I can stitch you back up doesn't mean you should go lookin' for trouble."

Jim shrunk under the scolding, whimpering and scared. The soft flesh of his neck flashed at Bones and he softened, hands gentling as he began to stop the bleeding.

"You scare the hell out of me sometimes, you know that darlin'?" Leonard smiled ruefully, shaking his head when Jim nuzzled into his hand. "Now stop that." He scolded, gentler and with fondness. "You need to hold still so I can patch you up."

For a moment it seemed like Jim would disobey, blue eyes staring up at the doctor before with a puff of air his head lowered to the floor, defiant eyes slipping closed with a soft whine.

"Good boy," Bones murmured, running a hand through Jim's hair before he went back to prodding at the cuts. It seemed that Jim had toppled the drawer of silverware on himself, leaving behind a few nasty cuts and bruises on his back and thighs. "What am I going to do with you?" He muttered as he began treating the wounds. "I don't even know how you managed this but I'm not even surprised.  You seem to be accident prone after all."

A blue eye cracked open, giving him a disgruntled look before slipping closed once more. By the time he'd reached Jim's thighs Bones had practically forgotten about the captain's state, too caught up in his work. But he was suddenly reminded when Jim's legs fell open with a moan, hips arching up for contact as his weeping arousal pointed to the ceiling.

Leonard swallowed, looking away as Jim whined and squirmed, heat peaking once more under the presence of an alpha.

"Shh," Bones soothed, growling softly at the back of his throat. "I'm almost done, darlin'. Just be still a few more minutes."

Jim protested, curving into the CMO's body desperately with a pathetic whimper.

"I know, kid, I know." Bones sighed, beginning to treat Jim's thighs. "I wouldn't be too happy if I was you either."

The captain's huff seemed rather disgruntled at that. 

* * *

"Alright, I'm done." Bones announced sometime later, getting a groan of both relief and discontent when he removed his hands. "Do you want help back to the bedroom or are you content to stay in this chaos?"

Jim growled, pushing himself up off the floor with shaky limbs and a disgruntled look. He pointedly ignored the CMO and stalked into the living room without a word.

"Okay," Bones muttered, rolling his eyes as he turned back to the mess of a kitchen. "Glad we had that talk." He bent down, beginning to clean up the silverware when simply leaving didn't sit right with him. He was nearly through when a long groan reached his ears, making Leonard's spine go stiff.

"What the--" The wet sound of slick followed and Bones let out an incredulous "you've got to be fucking kidding me" over Jim's next moan. Leonard's face flushed, and he hurriedly placed the silverware on the counter before grabbing his stuff and making a beeline for the exit. Which brought him through the living room.

"Bo--ones," Jim rasped for the first time, voice hoarse and strained. The doctor could see him in the corner of his eye, stretched out on the couch while he worked a plug in and out of his entrance.

"Jim?" Bones answered as normally as he could, tense and fighting for control.

"Can you--I just--" Jim made a desperate and frustrated noise, fists clenching.

"The hypo's wearing off, Jim." Bones muttered, still not turning to meet his captain's eyes. "I've got to go now otherwise we're both going to be in a pickle."

"You could stay," Jim answered, quiet and barely there. He might as well have screamed it.

Bones stiffened all at once, eyes widening and heart racing as his alpha howled in triumph. "What are you--" he shook his head, turning to look at the other male. The sight of Jim, flirty, take-charge, 'there-are-no-no-win-scenarios' Jim, strung out and desperate and asking Bones to stay was too much. He shook his head again, backing towards the exit. For a moment he was terrified that he wouldn't be able to, that he'd cave in to the urge to go to Jim and take what he was offering; but in the end the man won control over the beast. "You're not in your right mind," Bones whispered, eyes never wavering from his captain despite the words. "We'll talk about this later if you want to, but I won't just take something that you might not want once your heat is over."

"That's not--" Jim started, shaking his head as his eyes widened. But Leonard was already out the door, fleeing as if the room was a burning building. "Bones!"

Jim's image haunted him, playing out behind his eyelids.


	2. and you kindle the fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos! I loved hearing from you all and I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint!

The first thing Jim did coming out of heat was clean up his quarters while vehemently calling himself a fucking idiot. The image of Bones fleeing played over and over behind his eyelids; a painful reminder that not even his best friend could want him. 

Really, Jim thought, scowling at the couch as he righted the cushions. How could he have been so stupid? He should've know that this would happen eventually, what with Bones insisting on checking in on him.

When the doctor had first brought it up his omega had agreed eagerly, joyful over the fact that their potential mate wanted to watch over and protect them. Jim had told himself that it was Bones, that he would do it for anyone because that was just the kind of person he was, but he had still hoped. Foolishly he had thought that maybe, just maybe, it was possible for the CMO to care for him; to want him. 

Fucking idiot.

* * *

"Keptin on ze bridge!" Chekov called, smiling brightly at him before turning back to his station.

Jim nodded, smiling faintly back as he made his way to his chair. Spock intercepted him on his way, disapproval clear.

"Captain, are you certain you should be taking up active duty so soon? I was informed that you had been injured."

Of course he had. Jim fought against the flush of embarrassment, eyes hardening in defiance. "While your concern is appreciated, Mr. Spock, it isn't necessary. I'm fine."

The Vulcan's sigh went unheard but Jim could clearly see the exasperation in the twitch of Spock's eyebrows. He ignored the silent reproval, brushing past his first officer to take his seat with a small wince. His body was still rather sore and it didn't help that he'd fled his quarters before Bones was supposed to arrive to check him over one last time. Jim sighed, leaning back tiredly as he looked to the stars. "Report."

* * *

He managed to avoid Bones until mealtime.

"You weren't there for your checkup," the doctor's voice came, his body following as he sat down across from the captain. 

Jim was beginning to consider counting how many times in one day he could get Spock's eyebrows to look so annoyed. He bet he could set a record. "I'm not injured and I figured I might as well get back to my duties." 

Bones rolled his eyes, acting as normal as ever. "That's besides the point, you idiot. Besides, your definition of fine is far different than mine."

"The doctor makes a fine point," Spock added, ignoring Bones' scowl. "It is important that your health takes precedent, particularly after your heat."

Jim glared at him, avoiding Bones' eyes. "I didn't ask for your advice, pointy."

"The fact that you are resorting to derogatory terms gives me reason to believe that you are defensive and therefor do in fact feel that I am right." 

Jim wanted to rip the bangs off of his head, not for the first time. "I have to go," he answered coldly, getting up quickly. 

"Jim!" Bones protested, grabbing for his arm. He dodged the contact, fleeing before the doctor could make another try. His omega whined mournfully after him. 

* * *

"Doctor, has something taken place between you and the captain?" Spock questioned, tilting his head to the side. "I only ask because Jim seems to be exhibiting strange and sudden behavior around you."

"I told you Spock," Leonard grumbled, stabbing at his potatoes. "It's Leonard. As for Jim, who ever knows what's goin' on with him?"

"You usually appear to."

And well, Bones had no answer for that.

* * *

"You're avoidin' me," Bones remarked, eyes shadowed.

Jim swore, flinching away as he turned towards the doctor. "What the hell?!" Wide blue eyes stared at Leonard. "I thought I was scheduled with M'Benga."

"You were," Bones shrugged. "I took it instead. In case you've forgotten, I am your physician. Sit down."

Jim frowned, moving to sit on the examination table reluctantly. "I'm not avoiding you," He finally muttered, looking away.

"That's funny," Leonard scoffed, resting a scanner against Jim's cheek. "cause it sure seems like it." 

"I thought you'd have wanted that," Jim shot back, jaw clenching as he remembered the look on Bones' face when he'd turned down his offer. 

"You're out of your goddamn mind," Leonard snarled, tearing away the scanner. He glared at the captain's shirt and Jim took it off hurriedly before Bones ripped it off. 

"It's not like you seemed very happy the last time I saw you," Jim bristled defensively.

"What? When you ran away during dinner? Or when you were mid-heat and lookin' for a bed partner to make it better?" The doctor snorted, running the scanner over his captain's torso.

"You make it seem like I would've asked anyone," Jim frowned, almost hurt at that.

"Wouldn't you have?" 

The question was clearly rhetorical but that didn't stop him from answering, the sting of hurt quick to spread. Only Bones and his cutting words could make him want to whine like a pup. "No, Bones. No I wouldn't." Jim shook his head, eyes hardening as he pushed the doctor away, shrugging back into his shirt before heading towards the door. "Though it's nice to know what your true opinion is of me."

"Jim, wait--" Bones grabbed his arm, turning him around with a soft grunt. "That's not what I meant."

"What? You weren't insinuating that I was a knot-whore, willing to tie myself to anyone?" 

Leonard made a pained noise. "Of course not. I just--you can't honestly say that you actually wanted me to stay, kid. You could have your pick of the litter." 

"Right," Jim laughed bitterly. "That's funny, Bones. Aren't you the one always going on about how reckless and stupid I am? No one wants someone like that as a mate."

"Who the hell told you that?" Bones growled, eyes darkening with something fierce. Jim's heart sped up under the look.

"Lots of people," he muttered, looking away.

"They're fuckin' idiots then." The doctor practically snarled, hands curling into fists. "Anyone would be lucky to have you. Don't let someone tell you otherwise."

Jim swallowed. "You don't want to." The words were soft and quiet, and regretted as soon as they were emitted. He took a shuddering breath, erasing the troubled look on the CMO's face with astonishment. "Have me that is."

Bones blinked owlishly.

Jim counted to ten with no response to be found and scowled, turning back towards the door. "Forget it. It clearly doesn't matter."

Leonard's hands slammed into the wall on either side of Jim's head, boxing him in from either side and pressing him into the side of the room. "You mean to tell me you weren't just lookin' for someone to fuck?"

Jim shuddered, the feel of hot breath on the back of his neck paired with Bones' sexy drawl was too much. "If I wanted someone to fuck, Bones, I would have applied for a aid."

"You need to tell me if you're messing around here, kid," Leonard warned, mouth brushing against the curve of Jim's ear. His voice was strained and thick with alpha, nails digging into metal. "This can't be a game for me."

"S'not a game." Jim breathed, arching back into Bones' body with a soft whine. His omega quivered just below the surface as he let his head fall to the side, offering his throat willingly. "I promise, Bones. I want you. Have for years." 

Bones groaned, nuzzling into his captain's neck to nip at soft skin. "Are you sure you want to try this?"

"Would you stop talking and just kiss me?" Jim answered impatiently, squirming between the doctor's body and the wall. For too long he'd waited for something like this; for hope and a chance, and he would be damned if he didn't take advantage of it before Bones changed his mind and left him wanting once more. He'd need something to hold close in his memory on those lonely nights when his bed was too big and his body was too cold after all. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Bones. Are you sure _you_ want to try this?" Jim had to ask, had to make sure, had to strengthen his hope even if it might get him hurt in the end. Even if he was already certain it would.

"I'd be insane if I didn't," Bones muttered, turning Jim around to steal the first kiss of many.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at writing Spock so please tell me if you think I did alright or should fix some things :)  
> I think the next installment of this series will involve a time skip to Bones and Jim's first heat together but feel free to tell me if you'd like to see anything in between or something in particular during and I'll do my best to deliver!


End file.
